Delete the number, delete the million texts, delete delete delete! Stamp out his existence from my life.
How many times?
Wonder why I ever put myself through this?
One week that’s all it was! Am I really that fragile?
Fragile was the attraction. The thoughts expressed. The compliments. All lost in that one awkward moment. That moment in which fumbling, a fear expressed. Maybe, could have done it better or maybe could have lived with the fear.
Maybe, if it wasn’t this it would have been something else. Equally fleeting, equally meaningless but just as powerful. Wrecking hopes wishes and desires that had been fuelled in a mutual ecstasy of feeling someone so close.
Another sickness to be cured. Antibiotics for the mind. The cure provided the sickness himself.
Nights of woe, self doubt, perishing agony, hmmm why did I ever think I was rid of you? Words we bandied passion, attraction, connection. Tell me how in one fumbling moment i negated them all. How?
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