Ode To The Id

Dear Friend,

Yes you, who have, often been absent. You, who has wandered off at the first possible sign of trouble. You, who I desire despite your repeated betrayals.

I was happiest with you and the saddest without. With you the vibrance so often witnessed has degenerated into a cacophony that everybody doubts.

I have missed your calming presence and your steadying influence. Confused and hungry I have been parched alas too long. I smudged the distinction between patience and abomination.

My steps, so unyielding when with you, have turned upon themselves and stayed immobile for so long. Unhurried and staid, I have lost the desire to get anywhere.

For I am nothing without you, a coaxed human being without the spirit to live. You have taken the best years of my life with you. For only when you were around did I live at all.

I hope you are back this time. I glimpsed you awhile and I am hoping you will stay. For with you around, I can take off from the ground, knowing you will be there to gather me when I go into free fall.

Mouthful of cavities
Your souls a bowl of jokes
And everyday you remind me
How I'm desperately in need

See, I got a lot of fiends around
And they're peaking through nothing new
They see you
They see everything you do

See everything on the inside, out

Oh, please give me a little more
And I'll push away those baby blues
Cause one of these days this will die
So will me and so will you

I write a letter to a friend of mine
I tell him how much I used to love watch him smile

See I haven't seen him smile in a little while

Haven't seen him smile in a little while

But, I know you're laughing from the inside out
Laughin' from the inside out
I know you're laughing from the inside out
Laughing from the inside
From the inside
From the inside
From the inside
From the inside out

Blind Melon
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WMY-n9MF6o

Today We Shall Eat

A surprise day off (elections in Haryana).

Even the gym is closed.
Endless sermons from the Professor (my mom).
Mr. New Guy raising hairy questions (he talks a lot anyways, so day off had nothing to do with it)
Wrong time of the month almost here.
And
An epiphany

Yeah, quite a lot to take on what should have been a really peaceful laid back holiday.
More on that later. I am sure the 2.2 readers that I have managed to collect are dying to hear about the epiphany. I will present it in the following format:

O lord grant me the eternal right to eat what I want
To eat what I want
And still be able to wear what I want

Grant me today the eternal happiness
That only comes with essential fatty(ness)
Let me partake of thy largesse
Let me o Lord Let me

O lord hear this today
On a holiday
Please let me eat
Without regret, disgust or fear!

So I cook myself 2 packs of instant noodles, pack on a few sachets of tomato soup and round that off with some excellent chocolate cookies! Switch on the TV for the first time in days to find “The Unit” being shown by Star World. Hmm, life has suddenly taken on a new hue. Almost.

"when the devil wants you to do something, he doesn't lie at all. He tells you the exact, literal truth. And he lets you find your own way to hell"

Daivd Easterman in Sandman

It was one of those jolly, peaceful mornings that make a fellow wish he'd got a soul or something...

Me: So what is it?
Aforementioned Soul (A.S): How the hell do I know?
Me : But thats your job
AS: Ah, but I dont exist, remember?
Me: Cmon, you know what I mean, its too soon!
AS: Despite myself, have to smack you on the head! Just shuddup and enjoy it!
Me: Yeah well, but you can't teach an old dog new tricks. You know me, I always take time....
AS: Aaargh..("Her voice trailed away in a sigh that was like the wind blowing through the cracks in a broken heart")


With apologies to Sir PG.

Death of a Poet

We have to kill her
I know, but she refuses to die, I have tried everything.

What all have you tried?
Sprayed her brains over the back wall, she patiently gathered the tissue and brought it whole again. A gruesome result but living nevertheless. Ground her heart to a fine powder dust, she collected everything and kneaded it back to life. Mistrust, harsh words, broken promises and indifference I have tried it all. She still just keeps coming back for more.

Hmmm, what about banality? You tried that?
No. How do I do that?

Simple, she has illusions of grandeur, doesn’t she? Let’s dole out the ordinary. She won’t be able to withstand being treated like the lowest common denominator. Take all she is giving, acknowledge it, respect it, be grateful even and then pretend its not worth anything at all.

What's the novelty in that?

Novelty lies in the fact that she never thinks it could happen to her. She thinks she will die in pools of glory and blazes of color. Her end spawning a legion of thought in a million  minds. She will never guess that she can be left to waste away in obscurity. Just a number on a list, unclaimed and undistinguished. After all, what is so new about a man sleeping with a girl and forgetting to call?